But the days of "romancing" my friends -- of luxuriating in their company all weekend long and most weekday evenings is over. Given the choice -- which, thankfully, I have now that my relationship is not a long-distance one -- I'd rather spend most of my free time with my fiance.In being married to Michael for the past (almost) 3 years, I've noticed that this is true, especially since we moved so far away from our friends. It's not that I don't want to spend time with my friends, it's just that my priorities have changed. If we did live in LA, I would make weekend trips to see them, go out and eat, or anything else we would have done while single... Except for going to the bar looking for men!
And soon that fiance will be my husband, and one day he'll be the father of my children, and as we continue building a life and home together, I'll have even less time to devote to other relationships.
I still plan to maintain my own friendships, of course, bonds I hope will help guide me through various transitions my life is bound to make, but I'd be fooling myself if I thought those friendships could ever be like the ones I made when I was single.
There's a freedom that comes when you're unattached to any one person, a kind of freedom that seems to be almost magnetic. Other singletons and I found each other in a way that doesn't seem to exist among those of us who are coupled. There's a kind of kindred spirit-ness among single women (and gay men) that I haven't found anywhere else.
The comment section of this article is disturbing. So many jaded people! However, there are some commenters that are able to express sentiments similar to mine, but in a clearer way.
Wow. A lot of you people didn't read. She was lamenting the changing of her relationships due to moving and no longer having complete 100% of her time devoted to friends. Guess what. That's called growing up. That doesn't mean she suddenly decided to drop all her single friends. It just means she has less time for them as she has new commitments with her fiance, his family, etc. And just wait until the babies come - the time for friends goes down tenfold. If the single friends are truly that good of friends, they will support you and understand the limitations you have.
-Steve
About 7 or 8 months ago, I moved to another state to be with my boyfriend as well. Glad I did it as now we are planning to get married. But, I do miss my single girlfriends who occupied all my free time from before I moved. We still talk once a week or so, text and chat on FB, but it's not quite the same. But there are many chapters to the book of life and each brings new and rewarding experiences and new friends to meet and cherish. Your true friends don't stop being your friend because they get married, or you get married. The dynamics may change some, but that's part of life.
-BG
I don't know why so many people are being such jerks on here, but I can completely understand where she's coming from. AT FIRST, I was completely and utterly immersed in married life. Part of the reason, however, is that I moved further away from my friends. Now that I have moved closer to my friends, they have also moved on. One of them is also married, with two small children. Another moved to another state, and lastly, another moved further away than we were originally, works strange hours and also is married with a small child. My husband and I are currently having trouble getting pregnant and have been struggling with this issue for a long time, making it very difficult to be around my friends that are mothers because, of course, everything in their life has to do with their children. Basically, we are at different stages in life right now. That is ok. We stay in touch and if something REALLY big came up, they'd be there. That is all I need to know. I have also learned to make friends with women of all different ages and walks of life, I think this is important in creating a full and well-balanced life. So, though my husband and I still spend a lot of time together, the newlywed years are now over and we're finding ourselves individually once again. We've both made friends with each others friends, maybe not the best of friends, but enough for occasional "couple night" which has its own spice to add to our life. I guess basically what I'm getting at is that SOME friends only serve a purpose for a time and some are for life. Time will tell which of those friends are which. The "sacrifice" is completely worth it, but I definitely still think fondly back on those memories of "single-life" and yes, sometime, I do miss it. Good luck!
-Shana
